Identity and Peer Coaching in Psychedelic Integration
There’s a moment, sitting across from someone—whether it’s over a Zoom screen or a cup of coffee, on a couch or over a crackling phone line—when you realize the conversation isn’t just about words. It’s about recognition. It’s about two people meeting at the edge of their own stories, peering into the messy, beautiful tangle of what it means to be human. For psychedelic coaches, including the volunteers at Fireside Project and the Fireside-certified members of our peer coaching initiative, this quality of encounter happens regularly. Callers reach out, often in the wake of a psychedelic experience, seeking not just grounding but a kind of communion. And at the heart of this exchange lies something subtle yet seismic: identity.
A psychedelic experience includes not only the container in which the acute effects of the substance take hold on a person, but also the preparation and integration that follows. And who a person engages with during all three stages of the psychedelic experience (preparation, navigation, and integration) can at times be as influential as the substance itself. That’s where the role of identity comes in, an unspoken thread that not only may help shape the content of the conversations between peer coaches and clients on an individual level in that moment, but also stitch together the dynamic that holds the experience as a whole. In a world where we’re taught to categorize ourselves by race, gender, class, or trauma, coaching flips the script. It’s not about erasing those labels but about seeing them as portals, entry points into a shared vulnerability that makes connection possible.
In fact, speaking from a wide range of personal experience from both sides of the equation, the most profound moments in psychedelic work often come from a shared understanding, intersecting identities that draw out meaning, enabling a person to feel part of something greater than themselves, to feel less alone in their own experience. That camaraderie is the crux of it. Coaching skills and peer coaching relationships, unlike traditional therapy, thrive on mutuality. There’s no clipboard, no PhD on the wall—just two people, both flawed, both searching. Fireside trains its volunteers to meet callers where they are, such as after psychedelic experiences that may crack open questions of selfhood. And identity—whether it’s cultural heritage, sexual orientation, or the scars of lived experience—becomes the bridge. It’s not that coach and client must live identical lives; it’s that their overlapping identities give them a shorthand, a way to say, "I’ve been there, too," without needing to spell it out that can make a profound and lasting positive impact. From there, the client can go deeper because rather than spending time explaining their cultural context, they can actually discuss what’s actually going on for them within it.
The Psychedelic Lens
Psychedelics have a way of throwing identity into sharp relief. One minute you’re a mom or a lawyer, that girl with the guitar, or that guy with the stutter; the next minute, however, you’re just a speck of cosmic dust, a sack of flesh animated with emotions that have long been stored inside the body. Underneath our minds and bodies, our accomplishments and traumas, is a soul. Who are we actually when the ego goes offline? This dissolution can be both liberating and disorienting. The idea is to hold the notion that psychedelics enable you to meet yourself in a different way—and for a coach to speak from the authority of having been there before can be transformative for a client who’s going through it at an earlier stage.
Because a coach is not a clinician, they have the freedom to draw from their own personal experience with psychedelics and identity reckoning. Fireside’s potential coaches are drawn from our volunteers, and therefore are not therapists, but regular people who’ve trained in active listening, harm reduction, and psychedelic integration. Many have tripped themselves and have diverse backgrounds from one another. What unites them is a willingness to show up, not as experts, but as mirrors. Sometimes that manifests as a shared language—literal or metaphorical. Other times, it’s a vibe, a resonance that defies explanation and makes up for the sense of judgment or misunderstanding that can manifest in professional, less communal settings.
Beyond the Checkbox: The Benefits of Peer Coaching
Identity in coaching isn’t a monolith. It’s not about checking boxes—Black, queer, Jewish, whatever—and calling it a day. It’s more fluid, more human than that, sidestepping the rigidity of identity politics in favor of leaning into the messiness of overlap. An ex-Orthodox Jew and an ex-Mormon might not have the same cultural background, but may share the pain and mutually understand the complexities of leaving the religious fold they come from. Other less obvious identity overlaps, for example, may center around shared traumas like having a mentally ill parent or seeking refuge from a home country.
Whereas more traditional therapy often positions the therapist as a blank slate, a neutral observer who can make an objective diagnosis or employ a particular methodology, with coaching the method, so to speak, may even incorporate a degree of self-disclosure—not oversharing, but revealing enough to build trust and mutual understanding. If a caller mentions a struggle with addiction, a coach might say, “I’ve been through that, too.” If race comes up, a coach might nod to their own lens.
The Illusion of Sameness in Peer Coaching Sessions
While shared experience may open doors to deeper connection between coach and client, it could also be triggering if there are aspects of a person’s identity that they have yet to come to terms with. Take, for instance, a Jewish client and a Jewish coach who have shared family history in the Holocaust and may find common resonance and meaning within each other. But for a Jew who seeks to assimilate versus one who seeks a stronger sense of religion, simply being Jewish or having a common ancestral trauma may not suffice when each may carry a sense of judgment for the other’s way of life. But sometimes it’s the triggers, as well, that can be our biggest teachers. As author Sarah Yehudit Schneider famously wrote in her book, You Are What You Hate, “What we resist in others is often a reflection of what we reject in ourselves.” How can our triggers actually teach us about ourselves? On the flip side, a client may look at the identity of the coach and assume there is a degree of sameness where there simply isn't—and that, too, could be harmful.
That tension—between connection and disconnection—mirrors the psychedelic experience itself. Psychedelics can unify, showing us the oneness beneath our differences. But they can also amplify divides, surfacing biases or fears we didn’t know we had. Coaching navigates this by honoring both sides. Identity can be a lifeline, but it’s not the whole story.
The Academic Backbone: Identity as a Relational Tool
Research underscores the pivotal role identity plays in peer-based support systems. In their study on multicultural competence in coaching, Murrell et al. (2007) argue that “identity influences how individuals perceive and interact with one another, particularly in relational contexts like coaching” (Murrell et al., 2007). They emphasize that shared cultural identities—or even the acknowledgment of difference—can enhance trust and rapport, key ingredients for effective coaching. For Fireside volunteers, this means leveraging their own identities not as a credential but as a relational tool, fostering a space where clients feel seen.
Similarly, a 2015 study by Passmore and Fillery-Travis in the International Coaching Psychology Review highlights the power of mutuality in coaching. They note that “unlike hierarchical therapeutic models, coaching thrives on egalitarian dynamics, where shared experiences and identities create a foundation for empathy and understanding” (Passmore & Fillery-Travis, 2015). This aligns with Fireside’s model, where volunteers aren’t positioned above callers but alongside them, using their own psychedelic journeys or identity intersections as points of connection.
Yet, the limits of sameness are equally critical. A 2019 article by Furlong and Stokes in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology explores how over-identification in peer support can backfire, leading to assumptions or blind spots that hinder growth (Furlong & Stokes, 2019). For example, a coach and client who share a marginalized identity might inadvertently project their own coping mechanisms onto each other, missing the client’s unique needs.
Identity as a Psychedelic Catalyst
Psychedelics amplify this interplay of identity and connection. The ego dissolution they induce often strips away social constructs, leaving raw soul and humanity in its wake. Yet, as clients reintegrate, those constructs—race, gender, trauma—resurface, demanding meaning. A coach who’s navigated that terrain can offer not just empathy but a map.
This mirrors what Murrell et al. describe as “identity salience”—the idea that certain aspects of identity become more pronounced in specific contexts, like post-psychedelic integration. For a client wrestling with cultural shame or familial rejection, a coach who’s walked a parallel path can validate their experience without judgment. It’s not about solving the problem but witnessing it, a subtle alchemy that turns isolation into connection.
The Bigger Picture: Community and Beyond
This communal aspect ties into the broader psychedelic ethos: unity amid multiplicity. Psychedelics dissolve boundaries, revealing interconnectedness, yet they also highlight individuality—what makes each trip, each soul, distinct. Coaching honors both, using identity as a tool to weave individual experiences into a collective tapestry. As Passmore and Fillery-Travis note, “The strength of coaching lies in its ability to foster a sense of belonging without erasing difference.”
What Makes a Successful Peer Coaching Program? Identity as a Dance
In the end, identity in peer coaching sessions is a dance—fluid, improvisational, and deeply human. It’s not a static thing to be pinned down but a living process, shifting with each conversation, each trip, each moment of recognition. Whether it’s a shared heritage, a mutual wound, or simply the universal ache of being alive, identity opens the door to something sacred—connection, which in turn can lead to more effective feedback in the integration process. Psychedelics teach us that we’re both everything and nothing, singular and vast. External coaching takes that lesson and runs with it, proving that who we are—flaws, histories, and all—can be the very thing that heals us. In a world quick to divide, it’s a radical act: to see ourselves in each other, and to listen.
Fireside Project does not condone the use of illegal substances including psychedelics. If you choose to partake we encourage safety and awareness.
